Finding Jesus Using Only a Prostitute and a Compass

is no small feat
when you're only paid up
for the hour.

Add to that,
the sobering terror of nothing
to drink,
a sorry lack of spermicide,
and a twenty-something brunette
who refuses to come out
of the bathroom.

Finding Jesus using only a prostitute
and a compass
is not the ideal way
to spend a Friday night,
but than again,
I never thought I'd be laying here

playing at Brando
with the ladies
or Cagney with the Tommys.

Raised on road hockey
and dungeons and dragons,
I'm forever that small town kid
who jerks off to the glossy promises
of magazine women
he will never meet
and waits to merge into oncoming
traffic
when old enough
to drive.

That said,
you should feel honoured
to have been with me
all those years
ago.

I don't just shower and deodorize
for anyone.

by Ryan Quinn Flanagan