How He Became A Ghost

by Noemi 'Siren' Soto

There is metal where his heart should be
cold and heavy, he carries it everywhere
deep within his hollowed out chest he made himself
He used to be warm blood pumping
but now he walks with the burden of the wounded
staggering with the stench of fickle love

He licks my lips trying to heal what he made bleed
but he is shrapnel tongued
and I still have the word "beautiful" embedded in my skin
Hand in hand, we put kisses in boxes that we hid under his bed
tucked away never to be found
Only we knew it's hiding place

He broke himself down into small pieces so as not to overwhelm me
and with two fingers, he placed each jagged piece under my tongue
until he became a part of me

If I could, I would take his beating heart
and place it in my pocket
so that I may know what it is like to be truly close to him
He always kept his skin thick
so I couldn’t find my way underneath
and burrow myself within him
Arm’s length was never far enough

We shared secret moments tangled up in bed sheets like nooses
Told me how much he cared for me as he hiked up my skirt
That’s the only way to get a man to like you, you know
I tried to hold on to him
but he’d turn into a ghost to slip right through my fingers
just had to watch as he floated away from me

We were always a silent train ride home deep in thought
skin still sticky with sweat
mind swimming with regret and confusion
Trying to make sense of it all

Nowadays I watch him from a distance
careful not to step too close
He’s always knew how to make his way in

And as for me…
Well, I have become a closed fist
ready to unleash all of the bitterness he placed so sweetly inside the palm of my hand.