Monday, April 19, 2010
My Backroad
Monday, April 12, 2010
Ode to Arlen Levy
but all the more
Sunday, April 11, 2010
COOKIE LADY
Traffic was fierce. I was running late;
the Bell hop gave me a wink as I
took the elevator. I had the usual
room, paid by the company.
The john was a squatty aerospace
engineer. The service had checked
him out. He was a negotiator on
a multimillion dollar contract.
He was shy even embarrassed. He
was unconscious of his wedding ring.
He twisted it a dozen times. I must
admit he wasn't much of a lover. Out
of the room I put on my wedding band.
This was my Thursday ritual; leaving
the kids with my husband and heading
out to my "art class". For an hour's work
the pay was great.
I stopped in the bar for a drink. I needed
to unwind. Then I was hit on by a good
looking guy. What is this world coming to;
he could easily see I was wearing a
wedding ring.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
outside
holed up in anchorage
for the winter
im trying to write some bullshit poem
about the beauty of falling snow
it's hours i'm at it and
sometimes i forget the simple things
like sincerity/
like feeding myself
so soon i'll have to walk
out into the snowstorm
out into the meat-grinder
it's hours i'm at it and
out my window
it's just getting colder
and darker
but inside
I can't hear myself think
over the thunder of my empty stomach
Friday, April 9, 2010
AS SHE GRINDS
As she grinds
her tattoos
& fake tits
into my face
I wonder
if her
obituary
will have a
picture.
She says
I can take off
my pants.
Muscle
by the door
turns his back.
& we live
happily
ever after
until
the next
song
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Judeo-Christian hospitality
in blind spots.
Right
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Train Wreck
A train ran through the backyard of our wrong side of the tracks rental
young and pregnant and mostly alone
I heard longing in its whistle echo off bare cinder block walls.
He loved his dealing, his bar life, he would spring from our half finished
love bed to answer the door then leave without a word
not returning until the 0530 whistle faded into sunrise.
Emotional distance is a treatment hard to take.
The emotional blackmail of retaliation hurts more
Forgettable love making mixed pregnant hormones into hatred -
yet I stayed, heavy with hope for the future.
It was always push and pull with him, never steady,
always looking for the glory train, quick buck dream of riches.
Mr. Wheeler Dealer never made it past mundane middleman.
He drove a used Mercedes, we lived on Welfare.
He refused to be more than a sperm donor, half assed babysitter.
He made me crazy with worry, brought home pistol packing strangers.
He told me cocaine was the next big thing.
I got on that train for a while, rode it to suicide wrists.
Mysterious migraines arrived at 1600, no train
needed to tell the time, only the dread of what crazy thing
would come through the door wanting food or money.
Twice I left him,
and twice he pulled me back with good daddy promises.
It took me 8 years to see that no train could carry this
baggage of wanting what was never there.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
"No Man's Land"
There’s no such thing, as valentines in no man's land
No red roses with soft, puckering petals
Sprinkled delicately upon the carpets and tile
Of staircases and hallways into bedrooms and bath tubs
There’s no such thing as passionate soul stirring declarations of
Undying
Unyielding
Everlasting
Patient
Unselfish
Love
In fact, in this town we question rather it exists
There’s no balloons or “ribbons in the sky”
No tattoos of lips on necks
There’s no candle light in no man's land
No lingerie
No dimly lit cabarets
No slow jams in no man's land
….But there is a distinct understanding of the difference between a Fantasy and what’s real
No fairy tales
Glass slippers
Poison apples
Foxes, hounds or thumpers
Sleeping beauties or dutiful princes
There is no dependency to intangible dreams
Or evening star wishes
No unwelcome greetings by disappointment
In no mans land we commit to our focus
No one else’s
And it remains undeterred through necessary sacrifice
So don’t ask the residents about their love lives
Because regardless, they love life